The end
Yeah, seeing him again - beige coat, brown hair, too knowing eyes - Ango’s first thought is again ‘I want that man in my life, in any way I can have him’
This is his friend, who he loves, and has seen been a so much happier, freer, lighter recently than he was four years ago. He’s also seen him spew vitriol at him with so much pain in his eyes, on his face, and he’ll take it again, force him through it again, if it means this is nto goodbye.
He is not walking out of the bar this time, the pain in his friends’ voices be damned.
Dazai-kun freezes when he sees him. He stays wary when he approaches.
-What are you doing here, ango ?
-Nothing in particular. I wanted to see if you would like a drink.
-With you ?
Ango doesn’t answer that. It’s not the question Dazai-kun wants to ask anyway.
-Well, I’d ask why, but you wouldn’t tell me, would you ?
-I would, but you wouldn’t believe me.
It hurts to admit - somehow, he’s lost all the trust Dazia-kun had given him back. He still doesn’t understand; everything was fine the night before, he remembers his soft expression - and the next day it was back to worse than four years ago. What happened ? Did, somehow, Dazi-kun sense the shift, that made his well-being go second on ango’s list of priorities against this ?
-I guess you will have to accept the offer to find out.
He’s nervous. He is oh so nervous (as if he was asking a crush to a date, and it’s when he suddenly realizes, ah yes, that’s what the shift was about. This is exactly what he’s doing. Great)
Still, he meets Dazai’s gaze, forces himself to be honest, to let his guard down. He half-expects to get stabbed fr it, but. He cares about this man in front of him, he wants him happy. He just doesn’t want that happiness to be away from him anymore.
Something shifts in Dazai’s expression, a softening, a surprise - but the guard stays up. And then it gets down completely, and there is just his affection reflected back at him as Dazai-kun says :
-I’m sorry for what I said the other day. I do not actually want to hurt you, Ango.
-It’s - okay. I forgive you but - what happened ?
-A misunderstandaing, I think.
-A misunderstanding ? You were quiet clear, I remember.
He wants to bite back the words - do not scold, do not pry, you can’t afford to push him away
-I misunderstiid, I mean. That happens. I’m sorry, I reacted badly, to - well.
Ango feels, really, really stupid.
-To what ?
-The way yu were looking at me, I guess. Like you didn’t know me at all. That hurt, Ango~~
It must have. It must have, but Ango doesn’t know how to stop looking at him and see him.
-Also, it’s the first time youve let it slide without calling me out. What is going on ?
It’s probably to big a tell that he avoids his eyes.