Suna Chuunin Exams
“So, my cute little genins!”
Said cute little genins look at him, unimpressed as always. Sasuke is still getting gloomier by the day, Naruto is not containing his annoyance about it at all - though he’s calmer with him and Sakura; at least he’s starting to feel secure in their regard and doesn’t feel anymore the need to remind them he exist, trusting them to remember him on their own - and Sakura is obviously feeling lost and powerless about it.
Something needs to change; he hopes this will work. (this is his team, the first hint of light he’s seen in years. He won’t let it self-destroy on his watch)
-I’ve got newws for you, he continues, as if oblivious to their silent (and not so silent rage). We’re going to the Suna chuunin exams.
“what IS he?” Explodes Sakura. Sasuke, in his own way, seems just as likely too. Naruto hasn’t said a word, but in a very loud way, as if he can’t find the words to express himself.
None of them are calm. Kakashi, at least, as the advantage of experience and insight. Still, he was badly shaken by the display. There’s no excuse; a ninja of his rankings should not be affected like so by slaughter, no matter how gorey.
BUt it’s not what shook him; not entirely, at least. He was shaken before already, at the looks, the whispers; so, so obvious how much the kid was feared and reviled. He could have ignored it though, approched the situation calmly. But then the nightmare happened.
What is unsettling him, then, is how the fear ended up justified, and yet he can’t help but think it was the other way around; that the fear went before the justification, even if today it wasn’t.
“A Jinchuriki”, he answers Sakura. He Needs to.
None of them react. What do they teach at teh academy, those days? (nothing that could endanger Naruto’s secret, especially to him. What a mess)
An answer - even one she doesn’t understand - settles Sakura. Questions and fear are still dancing in her eyes, but she’s back here, ready to apprehend and assess the situation. Sasuke is still angry - afraid. But he stays silent, his gaze dark. Naruto -
-Sensei, he begins, hesitantly. Sensei, is that - is he -
Sakura and Sasuke look at him, and he stops, looks down.
-A jinchuriki, explains Kakashi, getting his students attention back on him, is what we call someone who has sealed in him a bijuu.
-Bijuu? Asks Sakura, fully settled now that the conversation resembles a lecture more.
Sasuke has tabled his emotions too. Both are fully focused on him. It’s good, because Naruto is crumbling on himself. Shoudl they look, they might understand. Or not. Possibly, they’d put his attitude on not getting over his fear yet.
-Bijuu are creatures of chakra and immense might. THere are nine of them, all with a number of tails different. You know of one - the demon fox.
Naruto is shuddering, not meeting anyone’s eyes.
-Long ago, at the creation of Konoha, shinobi - the First Hokage and his wife, actually - captured them and sealed them in trustworthy shinobi, and they were gifted to the different village, in the hope that such power would make everyone hesitant to start wars.
-So, asks Sakura, if the bijuu are supposed to be sealed, what happened 13 years ago?
-It escaped. Its container was weakened, and it escaped and rampaged in Konoha.
-But, we’re taught that the Fourth defeated the Nine tails. If so, is Konoha without a jinchuriki?
-No. The Nine tails was re-sealed. But the identity of a villaeg’s jinchuriki is a s-rank secret. After all, depsite the power inside of them, they’re still humans, and that means they can be taken out to weaken the village. So, the villaeg protect the identity of their jinchuriki.
He pauses.
-Jinchuriki are powerful weapons. So powerful, in fact, that it’s considered an act of war for one to visit another village.
Naruto looks up, eyes wide and pale.
-But if it’s such a secret, asks Sasuke, gettign the conversation away from hwo important it is for naruto to keep his secret here, how do you know that’s what he is?
-The ability of Suna jinchuriki are well known. And, there’s the way he’s looked at.
-But isn’t that because he’s - crazy? Continues Sakura, apparently remembering anew the horror they witnessed.
-Maybe. But it’s a fact - most ninjas, most people, do not really make a difference between the jinchuriki and teh bijuu. And there are plenty of resentment towards the Bijuu, adn since jinchuriki are powerful - it’s not an easy life.
If Sasuke and Sakura weren’t so shocked by what they saw, they might have noticed how uncharestically silent Naruto is.
-Well, I get it, say Sakura. THat kid is not human! He’s a monster!
Sasuke snorts.
-Humans are monsters, sometimes.
There’s the shadow of Itachi in his eyes, thinks Kakashi. Not everyone needs the excuse of having a monster inside to become one.
-So, says Sasuke, if I understand well. The jinchuriki’s identity is supposed to be secret, but between the attitude of Suna towards him, and his actions, it’s obvious to anyone who comes here?
-And, even though he’s so dangerous, they keep rpovoking him? They’re idiots.
-well. That’s the look of it,n yes.
-Well at least we’re not doing that!
Kakashi satys silent, doesn’t look at NAruto. They’re not making the connection. He won’t make it easier for them. He craves though, to check, taht things are not that bad in Konoha. That it wouldn’t be as obvious to a visitor, if not through Naruto’s action, but through the actions of everyone around him. If he looks at Naruto, teh questions would be clear in his eye. He can’t afford to.
-Yes. They’re idiots.
Naruto’s voice is full of - nto fear, not anymore. More like fury. Or - contempt.
-Monster or not - I won’t forgive them.
Kakashi really, really hopes he’s talking about Suna and not Konoha.
He lets the silence continues, naruto’s words - the weight of them - hanging into it. Sometimes it happens, when Naruto’s determination suddenly overpowers every otehr thoughts on his team. He lets it, and then break it.
-So! Any otehr questions? Remember the exams start in trhee days!
-Sensei! NAruto greets him, the next day.
-Hey. Already up?
-Hmm. LAst night was - I miss Ichiraku.
Thsi Naruto is familiar. Kaakshi chuckles and pats his head.
-Sorry, you’ll have to deal with the rations.
A silence, adn.
-Naruto, I wanted to ask - is it really les obvious, in Konoha?
NAruto looks up at him. What he sees of his expression must be good, because hesmiles and - catching him off guard - he throws himself at him.
-Don’t worry, sensei. I’m fine. I love Konoha, and - i have you, and sasuke, and sakura, and iruka-sensei, and jiji, and éore people everz dqz; That hides me.
The problem in Suna gets visible to them almost immediately. Sakura is terrified and Sasuke excited, unreasonably so when it’s obvious he’s far from strong enough to survive that fight. Naruto, though, is furious to the point of forgetting to be scared.
He’s even more terrified than Sakura, when he first sees the other genin crushes one of his own comrades with his sand. The second times it happens, though - he doesn’t even look at the blood and the bits of flesh raining around them. He goes straight to the other jinchuuriki - Kakashi has no idea how Naruto’s secret is going to survive the trip intact. But Naruto doesn’t seem to care about that anymore. During the discussion they had after that first meeting, he was silent,cowed, as someone faced with his worst nightmare. Maybe it is his worst nightmare.
Here’s what Sasuke and Sakura have learned: what a jinchuuriki is; that there’s one in Konoha, too; that the identity of a jinchuuriki is usually one of the most closely guarded secret of a village, because of its military importance; and so, that what Suna is doing is ridiculously stupid at multiple levels, by letting their jinchuuriki being unstable, provoking their unstable jinchuuriki, and making the identity of their jinchuuriki obvious.
Naruto doesn’t care about the stupidity of those actions. He cares about the cruelty of them, and about the familiarity of them.
Between those two meetings, it seems his anger at Suna has overcame his terror. He goes straight to the other genin and throw his hand forward, somehow expressing his determination, his anger and his fear clear as day, with no attempt to fake a smile.
-Hi, I’m Uzumaki Naruto! What’s your name?
The other looks at him, feet in blood, uncaring of the landscape around them. Sasuke, though, is trembling by his side, not with excitement this time. Sakura is clinging to him, and Sasuke is too focused on Naruto having no sense of self-preservation to reject her as he usually does. Instead, he seems to be reflexively clinging right back.
The pint sized mass murderer looks at them.
-Whatever you’re doing, your teammates don’t seem to agree.
Sand is moving around him. Kakashi gets ready to intervene -
-They don’t matter. What is your name?
The observation goes back to him; naruto doesn’t seem to impress.
-You’re scared, too.
-Yes. I can’t imagine the strength one must have to live like you. I’m terrified -of that life and of you who is living it-, and grateful i don’t have to, and really, really angry that you do. What’s your name?
-…Gaara.
Naruto blinks, and somehow, as if forgetting everything that just happened, that was just said, smiles as if the world is the brightest place ever.
It’s the same smile as ever. It seems brighter than ever, more real, more genuine, and Kakashi suddenly realizes that he let himself be fooled by that smile into thinking Naruto actually thought the world a good, bright, compassionate place.
-Gaara? That’s a beautiful name! Mine’s Naruto!
-….you already said that.
-I did? I did! Eh, are you going to shake my hand or not?
-What is it you want from me?
And Naruto’s smile lets place to his seriousness again.
Kakashi shakes himself. This is going to go right, he can see it already. The other kid - a kid, just like Naruto, and Kakashi really hopes that the identity of Konoha’s jinchuuriki is less obvious to an outsider than the one of Suna - has less murder in his eyes, and more curiosity. Something, even, that looks like longing and tentative hope.
-Com’on, he says in low voice to Sasuke and Sakura, let’s go. He’ll find us later.
And, slightly louder, so Naruto can hear him.
-Let’s leave Naruto some time with his new friend, ok?
He lets himself smile at the kid -a kid, a kid, just a kid, too strong for the world and too fragile at the same time - when he’s looked at suspiciously.
-But, sensei!
Sakura, who’s bravery always expresses itself best when it comes to her teammates.
Sasuke is already leaving.
-Sakura, we can’t leave Sasuke on his own, can we?
Sakura glances back at the two kids, at the small, real, new smile on naruto, who looks like he found something precious he didn’t know he was searching for; at the hesitant way the other kid - Gaara - takes his offered hand, at the surprised, delighted look on naruto’s face; and looks back at where Sasuke has already disappeared.
-Sorry sensei! We’ll see you tonight!
Well. All his cute students have abandoned him. What is a jounin in a foreign land to do?
Why would he do that. Naruto has always - not been very sensical. His actions do not follow any logic taht Sasuke can se. But this? When you see someone murder gorily, you do not try to befirend them. You do not -
For sure - Naruto was - is - in danger. And even though he’d rather not, Sasuke cares. He was worried. And somehow, their sensei didn’t seem to. How safe are they, wonder Sasuke, if their sensei let them to something so dangerous?
Sasuke needs to become strong. Strong enough to defeat that man. To get rid of the threat that hangs on his fate. To let the spirits of his ancestors rest in peace. (to absolve himself from how powerless he was back then)
WHat is Naruto doing with that - monster?What is Sasuke doing with those kids?Can he really become stronger that way?
There’s no one he can go to with those interrogations. When he felt unsure, before - well.
He doesn’t realize it , but even now, it’s that same person’s words who guide him in time of uncertainty.
It’s… new. There ARE fear in the eyes of the genin, and Mother is asking for blood. BUt somehow, despite teh risk - despite acknowledging being aware of the risk - the blond loudmouth found it more important to offer his friendship than to run for his life.
If not for the outright admission of fear, Gaara would think it a tactic to get on his good side in order to be safe. But the boy facing him is upfront about all he’s feeling, and that’s intriguing. He knows nothing like love will come out of this; there’s no love for him, not anywhere. But an alliance, company, discussion - he’s never known any of this.
Naruto never seems to run out of things to say, and every time the whispers start Naruto add his name in his sentence, and smiles - smiles! - at him.
-I don’t need your protection, or to be distracted, he interrupts.
-What? Oh, yes sure! No, it for me. That’s how I ignore them. You can stop them, i know, I’ve seen, and have i mentioned that it was terrifying? But they shouldn’t even start to begin with and.
Naruto pauses.
-I’m furious. I’m so angry. I hate this. I. Am just doing my best not to hate them but it’s difficult.
A pause, and
-eh, do you have ramen here?
-….No?
-Ah, too bad. It’s my favorite! Especially from Ichiraku! Is there. Anywhere quiet we could go then?
Gaara doesn’t know how to describe what he’s feeling, but. Something like peace, despite Mother’s screams, is growing into him. Relief, maybe. Hope.
Naruto ne touche pas les gens. Ce n’est pas vraiement évident, mais une fois remarqué, on ne peut pas l’ignorer. Naruto, avec sa personnalité efusive et ses convictions ancrées, illuminant le monde constamment au centre de l’attention - ne touche pas les gens.
Gaara ne touche pas les gens non plus. Même avant, quand il pensait pouvoir être aimé, être éimé; être plus que carnage incarné, il ne touchait pas les gens et les gens ne le touhcaient pas non plus.
Donc, Naruto ne touche pas Gaara, et Gaara ne touche pas Naruto.
Hold his hand and Don’t let go. I know, I know, neitehr of you know how. Neither of you is familiar with touch, except for hurt; to be hurt or to hurt, all the same.
But reach out, hold his hand. Don’t let go. Neither of you is familiar with touch; both of you need to tuch. And hold. And hold.
Naruto barely feels Gaara’s skin through the sand. Yet, even that is overwhelming. The simple fatc that Gaara is reaching - than anyone is touching him - is, as always, hard to process. Iruka-sensei sometimes pats him on te head; Kakashi-sensei ruffles his hair often, awkwardly like he doesn’t know how either (and yet manages to make it look coom and unaffected). Otehr than that. Sparring. Figth with Sasuke. Sakura and the oethr hitting him. He misses it, every time, parents congrtulating the oethr kids, holding their hands, someoen to dry their tears.
There’s no point to crying when no one is going to console you. Deep inside him, where he refuses to look he resents that he ended up giving up on crying. Yes, it accomplishes nothing. But he stopped because there was no one with him. He gave up on anger the same way; beig angry didn’t make anyone look at him adn truly see him. Neither did smiling and laughing.
Nothing did, until he was able to fight for them. Until he blad for them.
And yet. Gaara is reaching for his hand, and Naruto did nothing for that but extends his own first. He’s unspeakably grateful.
(he’ll never realize, never know, never understand, and yet this would be obvious shoudl it ever mater anough for him to need to, but Gaar was just as unspeakably grateful for his hand; and just unable to process the unexpected, nearly unknown feeling
What a miracle, truly)
Sakura Doesn’t understand Naruto. That genin who is not a genin is terrifying. Dangerous. After waht they’ve seen him do, after hearing what is inside him, why is Naruto trying to befriend him? Why is NAruto doing this? What is he seeing in him?
She knows the life oif shinobi is cruel. A kid abrely older than them died, fighting them. Sasuke almost died.NAruto fought so, so hard back then. ANd her - she was supposed to be able to help. She was supposed to do something. She was guarding Tzauna, and yet. There was no hope she would be able to do anything hould one of their enemies pass the others. It’s frustrating.
Naruto was weaker then her. And yet he fought. He understood, as she did, back there, what they would have to do to continue that life. Why is he risking so much? Naruto, who has so much to achieve, such ridiculous, impossible dreams…
The first thing she does is try to talk to Sasuke. Something bviously botehred him in Naruto’s actions, besides the complete lack of self preservation instinct that floored her.
Sakura tries to talk to him. She rants about how reckless NAruto is. She fawns about hwo certainly Sasuke would be able to win againt that monster.
That’s what she sayws, ‘that monster’. That’s when Sasuke gets tha NAruto truly didn’t see a monster when confronted with the other genin, despite what they’ve been told about him. And pieces slot together. There’s a jinchuuriki in Konoha too. A kid, probably their age, with a monster sealed inside of him, looked at by everyone as if he was that monster.
THat kid. Would not be able to look at another like him and see amonster, no matter what he does. Especially if that kid is like Naruto, who cried for their enemies once already. But. Sometimes humans are monsters. At least Gaara doesn’t hide. At least he doesn’t pretend to love.
HIs silence has driven Sakura away. Sasuke holds himself tight, pretending not miss his bro- the person that man pretedned to be. He hates him. For his parents’ death, for the loneliness, for teh lies.
Gaara is a monster, regardless of what it’s inside him. He’ll prove it.